Oh, the dreaded negative self-talk! We all experience it. Some of you might hear it daily or perhaps it is now just situational or circumstantial. Regardless, when this negative self-talk creeps up…YIKES…it can really ruin your day.
So what can you do about this negative bullshit you constantly tell yourself?
Well, for starters, you must first realize you are not your thoughts. WTF?
Yes, you heard me correctly.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS!
You are just observing or witnessing those thoughts. Yes, those thoughts may sound like they are coming from your mouth but **newsflash** they are not. Think of them as words your evil twin has spoken. And guess what…if you would meet your best friend’s evil twin, she would sound exactly like yours. Unoriginal and painstakingly redundant.
Here’s the truth…your thoughts are learned from your environment. You get them from your parents, family members, friends, spouses, co-workers, kids, the media…basically from the society you live in.
And you have a choice!!! You can listen to those thoughts, believe them and let them negatively effect you or you can tell them to take a hike and never dare step foot back into your head.
What would you like to do? Keep those suckers around letting them drain your soul or scare the hell out of them so they never want to return.
That is what I thought!
Below I am going to share with you the six steps that I go through personally to relieve myself of those negative body thoughts, self-talk and self-esteem drainers.
(NOTE: These steps may seem easy but they do take practice. If you want more details or you want to dig into this topic further, be on the lookout for my upcoming teleclass, “Kick Your Negative Self-Talk’s Ass: 6 Simple Steps to Help You Let Go of Those Thoughts Once and For All”)
Step 1: Recognize Your Bullshit Talk
The key here is to notice when you are having negative thoughts. Yes, I am asking you to keep track of those unoriginal, repetitive bullshit lines you tell yourself everyday that makes you feel like crap. Don’t just take mental notes…be deliberate. Write them down. See how often you use the same language.
Step 2: Pinpoint The Emotion
Now that you have those thoughts written down, take note to how they make you feel. What happens to your body and mind when you hear those untrue thoughts? Do you feel sad, angry, unworthy, depressed? Pinpoint an emotion to each negative thought you wrote down in step 1. Notice a pattern?
Step 3: Find Its Origin
Ask yourself where in the world this thought or idea came from. Did you hear it from your girlfriend? Did you grow up listening to it? Did you learn it from the media? Be specific. Write it down next to your thought and emotion. This is your time (the only time I will ever suggest something like this) to blame someone or something else. (**By the way, it really isn’t anyone else’s fault that you associate your negative thought to something you heard them say or do.**)
Step 4: Purge
Now take all those thoughts you wrote down and get rid of them. Burn them, shred them, cross them out with permanent black marker, flush them down the toilet (lol…just make sure you don’t clog the drain ), rip them into pieces and bury them into the ground. Do whatever feels right for you…the key here is to dispose of those nasty, ass-draining thoughts. There is no right or wrong answer here. Just Do It!
Step 5: Remaster Your Thoughts
After you complete your “ceremony,” it is time to recreate your thoughts. Deliberately design new positive statements, affirmations or incantations that will replace those negative thoughts. Write these new deliberate thoughts down on paper. In fact, write them everywhere. Post them on your mirror, in the bathroom, on your computer, put a copy in your underwear drawer, in your closet, everywhere and anywhere you can see them frequently. Every time you see these new statements, read them out loud. Read them in the morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed. The point is to view these new thoughts often so you can rewire your brain.
Step 6: Practice, Practice, Practice
This step is pretty self-explanatory. It takes time to reprogram your mind. Be patient with yourself. And remember that you have to continuously practice this. Doing it once will not erase those negative thoughts. They will try to resurface. They might even come back in a different form. Your job is to use this tool or these steps as a way to combat those thoughts and kick their ass to the curb once and for all.
It can happen. I promise. If I can do this, so can you. And believe me, I was the queen of negative self-talk. But now when those thoughts strike, I know they are not true. And I can release them much more quickly by going through this six step process.
And before you think I have gone all “woo-woo” on you, think again. I am not asking you to just pretend to be positive…I am suggesting you actively participate in the way you view the world, yourself and others.
So whaddaya think? I would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or comments. Give it to me below. And if you liked this post, send it to your girlfriends…after all, if you are having those negative thoughts, my guess is so is your friend.
Bella has lived near the beach since she was a kid. She gave up on surfing a while back, but enjoys walking the beach just as much as ever. Bella always enjoys the challenge of a new writing assignment.